


Eighty In A Twenty

by DGCatAniSiri



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 18:24:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1867821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DGCatAniSiri/pseuds/DGCatAniSiri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard's taking Steve on a date. It seems simple. And yet everyone on the Normandy keeps acting strange every time Steve mentions that Shepard's driving...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eighty In A Twenty

“Come on, Mister Vega. The Mako’s a lumbering beast!”

“Maybe, but at least it can take a few hits without breaking apart! Plus, you see that cannon? Who needs agility when you can blow up anything that gets in your way?”

“And the fact that it requires solid terrain under its wheels in order to get around? At least the Hammerhead can avoid getting shot at!”

“The Mako handles fine if you know what you’re doing!”

“Yeah, and if you don’t run into a steep incline.” 

The Mako versus Hammerhead debate had been going for some time now, and showed no signs of slowing down or resolving anytime in the near future. Since it was all good-natured on both Vega and Cortez’s part, no one had stepped in to break it up. The Normandy was about to pull back in to the Citadel, allow the crew some time for a brief layover before heading back out to the front lines. 

The elevator doors slid open, revealing Garrus and Kaidan. Steve felt a slight shift in the air as Kaidan approached him at the workbench. Steve knew that there had been or almost had been something between the major and Shepard, once upon a time. And, instead of acting on that, Shepard had instead decided that he wanted to embark on a relationship with Steve Cortez. Steve hadn’t had an opportunity to speak with the Major since that decision, but he’d been unsure how to even approach the topic.

However, James Vega was nothing if not able to cut through awkwardness. “Hey, Scars. Major. Any plans for shore leave?” He placed himself between Kaidan and Steve, a gentle way of protecting his friend from the line of fire, if there were to be any.

But Kaidan didn’t seem to be looking to hold a grudge, at least not at the moment. “Gentlemen. Any plans for while we’re on the Citadel?”

If Kaidan was willing to let it go, Steve didn’t want to be the one to throw a wrench in it, but he had asked... “Shepard’s surprising me. Apparently, he has something planned.”

“Sounds fancy,” Garrus acknowledged as he looked over the Indra rifle he’d taken out on the last mission. 

“He’s apparently pulling out all the stops. Even renting a sky car for the occasion, says he wants to take me some place private.”

There was a sudden sound, almost as if Garrus had dropped his rifle, which, of course, wasn’t possible. Still, the group turned to the source of the sound. Garrus was still holding his rifle, but it looked unusually awkward in his hands, as if he’d caught it or scrambled to catch it. 

He cleared his throat. “You, ah... Shepard’s taking you out? That’s... That’s very... sentimental of him.” There was something about his voice, though Steve couldn’t put his finger on what it was. 

“Yeah. I’m sure the two of you will... enjoy yourselves.” Kaidan knelt down to the stash of liquor that officially wasn’t there, pulling out a bottle. If Steve didn’t know Kaidan and his tastes better, he’d say that Kaidan had just grabbed the first bottle he’d seen. He passed a nod to Steve and James and headed back for the elevator. Garrus followed suit after putting the rifle back with the others.

Steve felt very confused, sharing a look with James, who shrugged, not knowing either.

And, in the elevator, once the door closed behind them, Kaidan and Garrus shared a look and couldn’t resist the laughter that overtook them.

***

The _Normandy_ was on approach to the Citadel, but Steve still had a few last minute fixes to make to the shuttle. He’d opted to outsource some of the parts, going upstairs to the engine room to persuade Adams, Donnelly, and Daniels that they could part with some spare parts for systems that the Alliance had upgraded during the retrofit. After a few agreements (Donnelly wanted genuine Scotch while Earth was occupied by the enemy? Sure, Steve would get right on that, so long as Donnelly paid for it himself...), Steve started back for the elevator. In the process, he ran into Tali.

“Oh, Lieutenant! I heard that you and Shepard were going on a date on the Citadel!” she said. Steve couldn’t quite put his finger on what her tone was, but he found himself feeling on the defensive.

“Word travels fast on this ship,” he remarked.

“You don’t know the half of it... Look, consider this some friendly advice. Whatever happens, remember, he means well. It may not seem like any consolation, but it’s not like he’ll be out to get you killed.”

Her words were probably meant to be comforting, but all they did was cause Steve a great deal of concern. “How exactly is he supposed to be getting me killed?” he asked, sounding more than a little panicked – what had he gotten himself in to? What, did Shepard have some kind reputation for killing off his dates? Steve expected that he would have heard about this beforehand, but maybe he’d missed some warning.

Tali hesitated. “You don’t know about... Well, I’m sure I’m just being paranoid. A few bad experiences are no guarantee of... Uhm... You know, I think Garrus... needed a hand with some calibrations. Got to go!” Then she turned and bolted for the elevator.

Steve was too busy trying to process her words to give chase.

_What have I gotten myself in to?_

***

Although he’d gotten spooked, Steve still found himself waiting at the carport for Shepard. Maybe this was just a prank, some joke that the old guard from the SR-1 was pulling on Shepard’s new beau... Surely that was all it was.

“Ah, Lieutenant,” a voice said from behind him. He turned to see Liara approaching him. “I thought I might find you here. I heard about your date with Shepard.” Steve desperately wanted to have her stop – he was already desperately struggling with the instinct to cancel on Shepard, make up some excuse about the shuttle, or procurement chains needing his attention. 

Heedless of his sudden panic, Liara placed what she likely intended to be a comforting hand on his arm. “May the goddess protect you,” she said before walking off.

Steve wanted to scream, do something to get a straight answer from any of Shepard’s oldest friends and find out what it was that they were laughing, warning, or praying for him about.

While he was busy with this, another set of footsteps approached him. When the person placed a hand on his shoulder, Steve jumped and turned, finding Shepard standing there.

“Hey. Are you okay?” Shepard asked, looking at him with concern. 

For a moment, Steve considered telling him about the way that the crew had seemingly made it their mission to scare him shitless about this relationship. He sighed, trying to let out all of his tension and just focus on what was important, which was being able to get out with Shepard. “Just wondering where we’re going, is all.”

Shepard gave him that classic confident-and-cocky grin, one of the things that Steve found he was falling in love with Shepard for (not that he intended to say that out loud at any point). “That’ll spoil the surprise.” He motioned to the skycar and for Steve to get in.

***

Kaidan had been wondering how things had gone for Steve and Shepard. He felt a little bad about not warning Steve about Shepard’s driving, but it had become something of a _Normandy_ initiation ritual. You weren’t really part of the crew until Shepard had nearly crashed you into something. Though they’d let James off the hook on that one – after the stunt he’d pulled on Mars, the last thing they wanted was to give him ideas. And no one had quite had the guts to suggest it to Javik. But if Steve was getting into a relationship with Shepard... Well, he had to learn sometime, right?

As shore leave drew to a close, Kaidan found that he wasn’t the only one waiting to get back onto the Normandy. Garrus, Tali, and Liara were also waiting near the elevator. “Kaidan. Did you receive a call, too?” Liara asked.

Kaidan shook his head. “No, I was heading back to the ship.” That was when his omni-tool beeped, telling him that he had a message to meet up with the others at the docking area. 

After another couple of moments, a skycar approached their position. It came in for a landing and Steve and Shepard hopped out. “I had a great time, Shepard. Honestly,” Steve said, sharing a quick kiss with Shepard. Good to see that their date hadn’t been ruined by Shepard’s driving. 

Kaidan was surprised, however, to see Shepard remain at the skycar as Steve started for the dock. Then Shepard locked eyes with the four. “Guys. I still have this car rented for another couple of hours. Get in.” Then he got an evil cast to his face. “I insist.” That was his ‘I-mean-it-no-arguments’ voice, the one he used when he was issuing orders.

As Kaidan and the others took their places in the car, exchanging wary looks, he heard what sounded distinctly like an evil laugh from Steve.


End file.
